It’s been a big month. America has a new (ish) President Elect. The UK has a new Leader of the Opposition. And both these elections have shown just how deep the divides in the public consciousness have grown. With strong opinions and heated language being hurled from both sides, and a rising sense of outrage and fear in different directions, our ability as a society to collaborate and move forward productively appears to be in serious danger.
If we’re going to get anywhere, we need to relearn how to talk to one another.
Difficult conversations in the workplace
While all this is playing out at a national and international level, the tensions are mirrored in our workplaces. Not only because people are becoming wary of their colleagues – Which way did they vote? Who can I trust? – but also because our workplaces are experiencing similar divides and differences of opinion. Questions of identity, rights and freedoms are at the forefront of many minds, and disagreements strike at the heart of personal and sensitive narratives.
Meanwhile, leaders are faced with the increasingly difficult challenge of bringing teams together to collaborate and communicate effectively. 86% of leaders say a lack of collaboration is responsible for project failures, and 50% of employees say that their job relies on teamwork. Yet 40% of employees say that collaboration is lacking in their organisation.
We know that one of the major issues that holds organisations back from diversity and inclusion progress is a fear of the tough conversations that will come with it. An awareness that, sometimes, the sense of amicability in the office is a thin veneer, and that opening up tough conversations will expose the true scale of the disconnect amongst staff.
However, teams can’t work together on complex projects, come up with innovative or effective solutions, or make the best decisions in important circumstances unless they are able to disagree productively with one another. One of the reasons why inclusive teams are 19% more innovative and 87% better at decision-making than their competitors is that they have developed skills to handle challenging conversations.
The art of disagreement
There’s no doubt that starting work on diversity and inclusion will open up difficult conversations. Some staff members will be against the whole thing, others will feel this is all too little too late. Different people will have strong opinions about what should be worked on first. Some people might share some offensive or derogatory opinions; others might open up about distressing experiences. All of this needs to be managed carefully.
Isn’t it easier not to open up this can of worms? Not really, because all these issues are still there, whether or not you choose to do the work – the difference is that, if you don’t do the work, they’re all simmering under the surface, causing resentments and frustrations that you can’t address. Eventually, this will boil over, for different people at different times, and some will lash out at their colleagues whilst others will leave, and many more will simply mentally check out and lose motivation. Meanwhile, teamwork and communication is suffering across the organisation – probably far more than you realise.
Once you start to support your team to develop the skills they need to have challenging conversations in a productive way, you enable them to express the thoughts and feelings they have been bottling up, so that these can be effectively dealt with and they can find a way forward together. This gives staff a chance to understand each other and find common ground, rather than secretly viewing each other as the enemy.
Being able to disagree and find solutions not only helps staff move foward on diversity and inclusion; it also enables them to avoid groupthink and flawed decision-making in all areas of their work. It means that staff can find the best way forward in all aspects of their work, because they are able to explore all possibilities and potential issues. It also means that everyone feels heard, which not only improves your chances of finding the best solution by taking into account all inputs, but also makes people feel more fulfilled and valued in their work – making them less likely to quit, or “quiet quit”.
How to disagree
Productive disagreement involves a cultural shift in an organisation. As a leader, you need to set expectations around how people will treat each other and how discussions will take place. There needs to be an awareness that disagreement is encouraged – that there is a need to test all theories and explore possible issues or alternatives – but that this must be respectful at all times. Above all else, there needs to be a sense that everyone is on the same team, working towards a shared goal.
This culture can’t be created without a strong foundation of shared values and a shared mission. Being clear on what your organisation is trying to achieve – and why and how – and ensuring that all staff are bought into that is the cornerstone for everything that follows.
Everyone in the organisation also needs to be committed to continual learning. This means setting aside the drive to be right, or to be seen to be infallible, and a desire for everyone to believe you know everything. It means embracing humility and recognising that we are all on a never-ending journey of growth. We need to be willing to be challenged and embrace opportunities to do better. This isn’t easy – there’s a lot of early programming to unlearn. But it is so worth it if the whole team can embrace it.
As politicians and the media contine to ramp up divisive narratives and encourage us all to believe we have to embed into ideological trenches, the most powerful work we can do for our organisations and our society is to learn how to talk to one another.
If you would like you and your team to learn the art of disagreement, our Challenging Conversations training will show you how to embed the culture and mindset you need, and help everyone to focus on finding solutions as a team. Contact us to find out more.
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